a simple reminder.

I just read a post from a friend (thanks Kelley) "On being Mom" by Anna Quindlen and it made me stop for a minute. I thought back to the first time I read it. Hudson was a year and I remember thinking how fast the year had gone by. I remember feeling a little sad that I didn't have a "baby" anymore. I wondered what I had missed while I was working, or cleaning, or just trying to get thru the day. I thought back to that day's events and hoped that I would remember his smile, laugh and what his favorite song was. And then a couple of weeks later I found out I was pregnant with Dylan and I promised myself I would take the time. I would scrapbook more often and journal and enjoy all the moments that make being a mom special....... If you haven't read the poem I would highly recommend it. It is such a simple reminder to stop and enjoy your children when you have them. Below is the part that always hits me the hardest... "But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less. Even today I'm not sure what worked and what didn't, what was me and what was simply life. When they were very small, I suppose I thought someday they would become who they were because of what I'd done. Now I suspect they simply grew into their true selves because they demanded in a thousand ways that I back off and let them be" Even now it pulls at my strings. I feel a little pain in my heart as I wonder if I accomplished my mission. If I am honest I will say that on the scrap booking end I failed......miserably. Dylan is only one month old and I stopped at a year with Hudson. But I am thankful for this blog. I enjoy writing about the little day to day events of our life or just writing what is on my mind. These are my memories that I hope to share with my boys when they grow interested. I have also written each of my boys letters every 3 months or 6 months to let them know their mile stones, their favorite foods, songs, anything. Moments I found funny or times when they seemed old beyond their years. I like to share with them what they were like as little tods. I just found these notes about each of them at 9 months. Hudson - Everyday I love Hudson more and more. I love first thing in the morning when I get a kiss and he puts his head on my shoulder. I love how we lay in bed for a few extra minutes in the morning while he has his bottle. I love the way he lights up and kicks his feet when he sees someone he loves. I love the way he chases Cali around throwing her the red bone. I love how is first word was Cali or “Ka-Ka.” I love his blue eyes and big smile. I love his sense of humor and how he try’s to make you laugh. I especially love his laugh….straight from the belly. I love how he has started to dance and bounce his chest up and down when he hears music. I love how he is cruising along the furniture and looks over his shoulder to see if you are watching. I love his crab crawl with his right foot and left knee. I love when he stops to rest on one knee and foot. I love how he sits on the floor and spins himself in circles. I love how he claps hands and can give a high five. I love how quiet we get when we are winding down for the night. I love how he sits on my lap and we read stories at night in the rocking chair. I love the way he puts his fingers in my mouth and hums himself to sleep at night. I love the way he falls asleep in my arms and in that moment is still my baby. I love the soft sound of his breathing when he sleeps….yes I still watch him. I love the way he looks so small when he sleeps in our bed. I guess in the end I just really love Hudson. Dylan Everyday I love Dylan more and more. I love the way he reaches his arms up in the crib for me to pick him up in the morning. I love how he puts his head on my shoulders and I can feel his breath on my neck. I love how he spits out his bink and gives me the biggest smile when I give him his morning bottle. I love how he screams when I leave the room and smiles when I come back in. I love how Peek-a-Boo makes him laugh so hard. I love his laugh and his chuckle when he is happy about something. I love how excited he gets when Hudson comes into the room. I love how he has started to say Ma Ma when he sees me. I love the babble. I love how he laughs when I blow in his face. I LOVE his squish face….it melts my heart everytime. I love how he splashes in the water and laughs when it hits his face. I love how quickly he is learning his skills. He crawls so fast and laughs as he tries to crawl up the stairs. I love how he pulls himself up on everything and is starting to cruise along the furniture. I love how quiet he can get as he plays with his toys. I love how he smiles when we dance around the room. I love how he wraps his arms around my neck….maybe this is a hug. I love how he is starting to eat table food…..meatballs and Puffs are his favorite. I love how he loves to play with Cali and crawl on her. I love how he try’s to ride along with Hudson on his quad. I love how sweet and innocent he looks with his PJ’s on. I love how he puts his head on my shoulder when he gets tired at night. I love how he kicks his right foot on the mattress as he falls asleep at night. I love how he hums himself to sleep. I love to still pick him up and rock with him a little after he falls asleep. I love the peaceful look he always has when he sleeps in my arms. In the end I love Dylan to pieces. He is a dream come true. This being a mom thing is hard but when I look back and take the time I feel honored. And incredibly blessed. I hope to keep my promise and continue to document all the moments. Life right now is beautiful and I don't want to forget it.