Anyone need a two year old?

One who has never encountered a two year old or has conveniently forgotten the year might ask: Are the two’s really so terrible? Well let me tell you, contrary to the rosy cheeks and adorable smile, that answer is yes.: He gets into my wallet, makeup, lotion and chap stick...daily. Now if you know me you know I don’t have much makeup but the receipts in the wallet are all there for a reason and I like them in order. I might have something to return next week. He has been caught drawing on the kitchen table......with a coloring book right next to him! Or better yet drawing on himself. He wipes his sticky, hands on everything even when there is a napkin right next to him. When you ask him to bring you something he looks coyly at you, turns back to whatever his is doing telling you, “One minute” He will purposely steal his brother’s toys, and drop them behind the couch or CHUCK them across the room (about 15 times a day). He throws tantrums when asked to take his medicine and slaps his hands over his mouth. I end up getting only half the medicine actually in his mouth and the other half ends up on me. He drips milk from his sippy cup everywhere…...for fun. Or maybe that is all in my mind. It might be an accident. Still it is terrible. He is still biting. Despite reading “Teeth are not for biting,” numerous time outs, soap in the mouth (yes I am officially a bad mother), and any other punishment I can come up with he will turn on you like a wolf. He throws cups full of water out of the bathtub....and then dumps all the bath wash into the water. "I need more bubbles, Mommy," is the reasoning he gives me.

When you ask for a kiss he gives you his head....just terrible after all I do.

He screams, like really loud, when he doesn’t get his way. He doesn't eat regular meals, he has his own special terrible two diet consisting of “muck” “monkey juz,” “cher-os,” “charms” “me donald nuggets” “doggie juz” “cheez” “booberries” “piza” and “mac-chz.” Try to offer something else and you will quickly get a “I don’t like that!” And my current "favorite" coming up to me with poop on his fingers telling me he “needs” a new diaper. No child what you “need” is to learn to use the toilet. So I will ask again anyone need a two year old??? Now "someone" in our household might feel I am a little at fault. But take another look at those rosy cheeks. He is just so stinkin' cute. I try and get mad, but the minute I turn away from him I laugh. Sometimes laughing really is my only medicine, short of placing him in the yard with a “Free” sign attached. And I think he sees me laughing which doesn’t help. He certainly knows he is cute so he will just turn around and do all those terrible things again.....and again. Only 161 days until Oct 3rd 2010. Calgone take me away!